Ancestor Worship (Tharpanam) - HOW TO Guide

Ancestor Worship

Background

Just sharing my knowledge – my own writing, based on all the knowledge I have accumulated through the learning of the science of Hinduism, Garuda Purana, and exchange of knowledge between the wise ones and gurus on this subject.   

This was an inspiration and after thought of what needs to be done by me and my future generation for:
1. My beloved father, Late Nagappan, who demised on valarpirai Prathamai thitti  in 2001
2. My beloved mother, Late Sellamah, who demised on valarpirai Sasthi thitti in 2016
3. The duties the future generations must perform to elevate Them and the rest of the past 64 generations who are in their journey towards God’s kingdom.  

When discussing this subject, it must be known that there should be no longer any emotional and physical attachment to this departed soul.  Hence, Mr Nagappan is no longer my father, but a spiritual soul/energy who has a link with us through our DNA, and these spiritual energies are able to communicate to us via this DNA link.

Introduction

- 2 types of departed spirits - aavi (white form) and pEi (black form).   The black form are those who have unfulfilled desires in earth (e.g. those who died untimely through accidents, or those committed suicide, etc.., and un-peaceful souls with desires unfulfilled).   They remain roaming in earth until their time is up.

- 2 locations where the souls depart to - oli ulagam, paathAla ulagam.  Those in oli ulagam resides with Gods.  They may return / reborn as another soul, or remain there as part of the Gods and Goddesses.   Those in paathala ulagam are those going through the challenges as described in Garuda Purana.   They have to go through some challenges (depending on their punniyam/karma done while they are on earth) through their journey to Yamalogam, and further to oli ulagam. 

For those who are already in oli ulagam, they enjoy their peace, and become a blessed soul.  These souls arrive in earth during Pournami period, and usually will “hang out” at places of high spiritual energy such as temples.   Hence, the importance of visiting temple during the Pournami, lighting villaku and releasing your thoughts through the nei villaku to call upon these ancestors to obtain their blessings.  From a scientific perspective of the religion, nei villakku is the medium of communication of thoughts between you and the spiritual energies (e.g. blessed souls, Gurus, Siddhars, and Gods). 

Who visits this lOkham (earth)

Pournami - blessed souls, angels, Gurus, Siddhars, Gods - AT TEMPLE
Ammaavaasai - ancestors 

The Journey and our duty

It may take more than one earthly year for them to reach Yamalogam.  The dead travels 247 Yojanas (8 miles) every 24 hours, and total Yojanas required to reach Yamalogam is 86,000 Yojanas (takes almost a year) - hence the 1 year/first year prayer.   Upon the judgment of Lord Yama, they further travel another thousands of Yojanas depending on their karma and deeds) towards either various hells (8,400,000 types of hells with varieties of punishments),  or they travel towards heaven (oli ulagam).   

Throughout the journey, they face uphill challenges (and punishments) meted out by the Yama messengers, depending on their karma. The kind of punishments meted out is fearsome and indescribable – you would have to read the Garuda Purana to experience every mile of the journey.      Throughout this journey, they will feel extreme thirst and hungry, and exhausted.  However, their journey must continue and they will be dragged by the noose by the Yama messengers.

During ammavasai's, these souls were allowed to return to earth to obtain the food from their children, so that they could have energy to continue their journey.  They come back to the family through identification of their ancestral DNA's (up to 64 generations of ancestors).    They wait from morning till sunset at the entrance of your (the children's) house.

This is when the children who are still living SHOULD/MUST perform the food tharpanam to the ancestors.   This is done through rice flour and black sesame seed (white sesame seed for ladies) - advisably in the presence of priest - for those who are not familiar with the  tharpanam process.   

Upon feeding

When these souls return back to paathala ulagam, having the energy consumed by the food given by their earthly children, they will be asked by the messengers - what punniyams have you done when you are in earth for you to be given a chance to continue with your journey? 

Hence, our ancestors are DUTY BOUND to bless us when they are here, so that they will earn their punniyams/good karmas – for them to proceed with their journey.  

Another way for them to earn the punniyams is through their earthly children performing annadhaanam to poor IN THE NAME OF THE DEPARTED ANCESTORS (i.e. by mentioning during sangkalpam that the annadhaanam is sponsored by the deceased parents).   By doing this, they earn their punniyams in after-life, and able to justify their continuation of their journey.  

Yet another way to allow them to earn their punniyams are by feeding (annadhaanam) to the ants with rice flours (hence the science of making KOlam every morning by  Hindus, so that ants and other creatures could eat them).  Hence, there is NO EXCUSE to say that we do not have money to do the annadhaanam.

The code of ethics of dhaanam:

Remember the code of ethics for performing dhaanam:
1. When food is given to the needy BEFORE you consume, it's called a dhaanam.
2. When food is given to the needy AFTER you have consumed the food, it is called pitchai. Hence, do not give PITCHAI to others. 

I observe many are doing this at temples. They serve themselves, and their family, BEFORE serving the others. You don't earn your punniyams (merits) this way.

Pitru Saabam - The Curse

Most of the time, our ancestors who arrives at our home during ammavasai were left waiting near the gate of the house, and not fed with any food for them to regain their energy to continue their journey.  We either lacked/lost out on this knowledge, or we are just "too busy" with our material pursuits and ignored our ancestors.   Having suffered enough at paathala ulagam through the punishments meted out, and having not received any food from their children, they get depressed and angry, and curse their children and their future generations (here are the symptoms – quarrels among family, mental blocks, degradation in education, lack of children (in particular – male)).  

These are called pitru-saabam.   There is a saying that, the worst curse that could ever happen to oneself is the Pitru (ancestor) Saabam (curse).   Do you notice the Chinese are doing well in their life?  At the same time, have you noticed the Chinese are the one who strictly followed this ancestor rituals during ammavasai (burning of papers, and offerings)?   These are science that belongs to Hindu inherited by Chinese, but the Hindus seem to have forgotten these important ritual.  Hence, we are where we are now – considering how our ancestors are being treated, and trapped in the paathala-logam, and not being able to continue their journey towards the oli ulagam (heaven/God’s residence).

Tharpanam - the process

Therefore, during ammavasai’s, do the following:

1. Be a vegetarian, better still – FAST on this day.    
2. Between sunrise and sunset, perform the tharpanam.   IDEALLY around 1noon.
3. Two ways to perform this ritual – by making pindams (rice flour ball) - See Figure 1 below, or simple way would be to have rice flour and sesame seed - See Figure 2 below.
4. If the person who is performing this ritual is a MALE, use BLACK sesame seed. If FEMALE, use WHITE sesame seed.  ** unlike the contrary belief, there is NO such thing as the female cannot perform tharpanam!

Figure 1 - Pindam

Figure 2 - Ellu tharpanam

1. Pour a small amount of rice flour on your right-hand palm, and a small amount of sesame seed.   NOTHING should fall off from your hand throughout this prayers.
2. Stand outside the house, facing South (do not do this from inside the house).
3. Pray to Lord Ganesha, followed by your Istha devata, and your Graama/Kula devata.  Seek their blessing.  Inform them that you are about to feed your ancestors, and for you and family to be blessed and protected.
4. Raise your right hand (that contains the sesame seed / rice flour) above your head. Think of your ancestors.   Do not look up, instead face down or straight.   
5. Call upon father’s name first (if deceased), before calling out THREE (3) generations of your munOrgal (ancestors).  Obtain this list from your elders in you are unaware.
6. Then, call upon mother’s name (if deceased), before calling out her THREE (3) generations of munOrgal (ancestors).    

1. This is how I do it for my deceased parents:

• Prathamai tithi’yil iranthu pOna en pitha (tanthai), Nagappan avargal
• En pithaa-mahar (tanthai-yin tanthai), Saminathan avargal
• En pithaa-mahi (tanthai-yin thaai), Amruthama avargal
• En prapithaa-mahar (tanthai-yin thanthai-yin tanthai) (name unknown)
• En tanthai-yin thanthai-yin thaai 
• En tanthai-yin thaayar-in tanthai 
• En tanthai-yin thaayar-in thaai         (thus covers 3 generation from my father’s side)

• En maatha (thaayar), Sellamah avargal
• En maatha-mahar (thaayar-in tanthai), Ramasamy avargal
• En maatha-mahi (thaayar-in thaai), Raasamma avargal
• En Maathuhu-Pithaamahar (thaayar-in thanthai-yin tanthai) (name unknown)
• En Maathuhu-Pithamahi (thaayar-in thanthai-yin thaai)
• En thaayar-in thaayar-in tanthai
• En thaayar-in thaayar-in thaai         (thus covers 3 generation from my mother’s side)

• Enn thaayar-in vazhiyil iranthu pOna aruvathi-naanggu (64) thalai-murai munnOrgalum,
• Enn tanthai-yin vazhiyil iranthu pOna aruvathi-naanggu (64) thalai-murai munnOrgalum,
• yaar yaar ellaam innum paathaala ulagathillum, irul ulagathillum, maatti-kondu irukkireer-galO,
• Neenggal ellOrum thayavu seithu, inggu vanthu naan padaikkum intha unavai pettru kollunggal.

• Neengal intha unavai pettru kolvathaal, antha paathaala ulagathilirunthu viduppattu, oli ulagathirkku sEra ungalukku Sakthi kidaikkum.

• Unggalil yaar yaar ellaam intha unavai petru-kondeergalO, yaar yaar ellaam oli ulagathirkku sendru vitteergalo,tayavu seiythu, maravaamal, enakkum en kudumbattinarukkum, Nalla aarokiyamum, selvamum, selvaakkum, pEr-arivum, sagala aishwariyanggalum, pathi-naaru pEru-galum petru, peru vaazhvu vaala, aasirvathiyunggal.

Upon saying the above, chant 3 times:

• Hmmm Shree Vaasu Pithru Devathaa Moorthigal Potri
• Hmmm Shree Rudra Pithru Devathaa Moorthigal Potri
• Hmmm Shree Aathithya Pithru Devathaa Moorthigal Potri

Visualize that your deceased parent(s) and all the 64 ancestors are consuming the food, and remain in that position (raised hand) for about 2 to 3 minutes.

Then, use water to drain out the rice flour and sesame seed from your hand - through your thumb (as shown in figure 2 above).

Ensure to release the sesame seed and rice flour on the running river flow, or lake.   Do not release it in any drains.  Water must be flowing out towards any lake or river.  If there are no lakes or river around, pack this food in a plastic, and release it later in any flowing water (i.e. river, or lake).   (Hence, the reason and importance of why tharpanams are ideally done near seaside).

Once you have done the above, wash your hand thoroughly and ensure not a single sesame seed are left/sticks in your hand.

Face East and pray to Surya Bhagavan and Kula-devata individually, requesting Them to send the message to Lord Shiva and Lord Vishnu to release your ancestors and to reach their LOkhams (Kailasham and Vaikuntham, respectively).   You could then, enter your home.

In the evening, go to the nearest Sivan temple, and light a Moksha villakku.  Again, since the medium is a ghee (nei), while you are holding the Moksha villakku, pray to Lord Shiva, requesting him to release your deceased father, and your 64 generations, for them to be liberated from the cycle of death and re-birth, and for them to be part of the Gods and Goddesses (hence the word, Moksham).  Do not get distracted when transmitting these thoughts through the Moksha villakku.

When to do Tharpanam

Do the above during:

• every month’s ammavasai (check calendar)
• During their death anniversaries.
• every major ammavasai (aadi ammaavaasai, purataasi  ammaavaasai, and thai  ammaavaasai).   In particular, for the month of purataasi, we need to observe this ritual for 15 days (Mahalaya Paksha).  Find out these details from google or other sources.

Hence, the importance for your parent's children (and their children) to perform the tharpanam for them and past 64 generations during the Ammavasai day.  Their blessing is important for your family to grow, and to succeed, and not to be retarded in their progress by these ancestral curse.

The more members doing this, the better!  Imagine the amount of energy our Pitrukkal could receive from each of us, and how fast they could be elevated to the oli ulagam, and for all of us to receive their blessings!

Perform these, for the sake of your family’s well being.   Even God’s worship comes next, compared to Pitru (ancestor) worship.

Frequently asked questions (FAQ's):

1. Can ladies perform the tharpanam?
A: Yes.  Use white sesame seed instead.  Exceptions for families where there are no sons (hence the girl/ladies of the house can perform the tarpanam for their ancestors).   The above is an exception.  It is to be noted that upon marriage, the girl becomes part Shakti of their husband, and no longer associated with their own (girl's side) family.    Hence, ladies are to perform tharpanam for their husband's ancestors.   

Secondly, ladies who are weak (mentally, spiritually, or unclean) are not allowed to perform these rituals.

2. Can I perform tharpanam when my father/mother is still alive?
A: Yes.  But skip your father/mother's name from the list.  Perform the tharpanam for your ancestors (grandfather and above).  Pitru tharpanam is for ancestors - not for living beings.

3. I am busy with work during the day.  Can I perform the tharpanam at night?
A: No.  The tharpanam must be done during the Ammavasai period, during the day from sunset to dawn.  Ideally around 1noon.   When one is aware of this important duty and how it affects their life, and their family, and their children, nothing else matters.

4. Can I skip the ammavasai and just do yearly tithi prayers?
A: Refer to the above article (what happens when food are not offered when they are hungry, and they had to return back without consuming any foods).

5. When my father was alive, he loves mutton and beers.   Can we offer those as padayal?
A: When your "father" was alive, that is!.    "he"/it is now a departed soul.    Souls does not get attracted to physical food, hence, they no longer crave for earthly foods.   Their food is only rice flour and sesame seeds. Serving non-vegetarian food only aggravates their karma/punniyams, including for those who are serving them.

6. My ancestors could have been reborn.   By performing these tarpanams and giving them food, aren't we disturbing them in their (next, future) life?
A: The above tarpanam is only for those who are trapped in the paatala lOgam, and for those in Oli ulagam.  Hence, we use the word "yaar yaar ellam paataala ulagattil maati-kondu irukkuraargalo....".  Therefore, It does not affect the reborns.

7. What benefit can we get by doing this as one unit of family, rather than individually at respective home?
A: Nothing wrong.   You could perform individually.  The benefits still reaches the ancestors.  However, ONE-MAN BAND does not make up an orchestra!  The spiritual energy of performing this ritual in a group is multi-fold greater as a family team. 


8. How much shall we pay for the service of priest performing this ritual?
A: Brahmanaas are duty-bound to perform this service.  They are not supposed to be profit-minded, and convert these as a business / revenue generating event.  They receive alms provided by the public. Having said that, do not do the karma of doing this ritual without compensating. For the priests, give them a plate (tattu) of vegetables (as generous as possible), umbrella, vesti/tundu, a slipper, dharba-grass mat (paayi), and any amount of fees that you wish to give wholeheartedly for performing this service.   

Having said the above, do not spoil them by giving "generous" monetary rewards, to avoid greediness from overtaking their duties.


Contributed by, 

Nehru Nagappan
Ex-Hon Secretary
Perumal Temple, Klang